tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-288223952024-03-13T14:18:25.070-04:00Before I SleepThe musings of an attorney technophile<br>
set loose in Our Nation's Capital.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09261194958149097177noreply@blogger.comBlogger258125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-40794197720262862232017-03-14T21:27:00.001-04:002017-03-14T21:28:43.340-04:00oh hi<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwsanYN0B0CXnBm9Wq7eXeea53PADkViaDRA6d2CDmVvh65j6NuoGg9tmg4GK1_10OAh1gkJNFX8MIs-C9y-X0j9JL9_LbTRiypUQxIX2R0t8VsNzV5qzBZ03Xr5zP6GdbPiE/s1600/IMG_3861.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="164" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwsanYN0B0CXnBm9Wq7eXeea53PADkViaDRA6d2CDmVvh65j6NuoGg9tmg4GK1_10OAh1gkJNFX8MIs-C9y-X0j9JL9_LbTRiypUQxIX2R0t8VsNzV5qzBZ03Xr5zP6GdbPiE/s640/IMG_3861.jpg" width="640" /></a>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-23693299867311932312013-09-11T22:54:00.003-04:002013-09-11T22:54:38.629-04:00Senseless<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIv35X9og1ISOHvkpvVsjFQZgN2znSVDq7jlG0WffDS2UC1ecIWysSGfE_axEX53Cdyc-bPfFyDVQ5IWjf9zVobs-Q5hqWrObXInBLVEbY498dgzSYUWlddSaLwoupU1i9Pxq7/s1600/IMG_7370.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIv35X9og1ISOHvkpvVsjFQZgN2znSVDq7jlG0WffDS2UC1ecIWysSGfE_axEX53Cdyc-bPfFyDVQ5IWjf9zVobs-Q5hqWrObXInBLVEbY498dgzSYUWlddSaLwoupU1i9Pxq7/s640/IMG_7370.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 11.333333015441895px;"><br /><br />For years I have lamented the tragedy on 9/11, but the lost towers never seemed real to me. I had never been to New York. I didn't see the site of the World Trade Center until some years later, when I visited Ground Zero. By then it was just a hole in the ground. I had never truly felt the presence of those towers, only their absence.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 11.333333015441895px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 11.333333015441895px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 11.333333015441895px;">I think this year, for the first time, I have some sense of what it would feel like for somebody living in Manhattan then. Every day I come home from work and look out my window at the Washington Monument. At over 500 feet tall it dominates the Washington skyline. It's a memorial to the father of our country. It's a symbol of American might. It's a shining beacon of freedom. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 11.333333015441895px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 11.333333015441895px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 11.333333015441895px;">Today, on this awful anniversary, I tried to imagine what it would be like if terrorists destroyed that monument. If, when I looked out at night, it simply weren't there. I felt a momentary flash of visceral rage at the imagined terrorists, a</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.333333015441895px; line-height: 11.333333015441895px;">nd at the real ones. I realized how much worse it would be if this American symbol also contained the souls of 3,000 individuals, who perished along with it.<br /><br />I'm trying to draw a lesson from this all. But I can't. Twelve years ago I proclaimed that I would die for my country if it needed me. Twelve years ago I would have joined the military to try to hunt the bad guys. But so much of our foreign policy over the past 12 years seems so senseless now. It all seems so senseless now. Their attack, our decade-long response against anyone we might deem a "terrorist," deserved or not.<br /><br />The only thing I can do is pray for peace. Pray for the souls of those we lost. And pray that the unenlightened and misguided will eventually come to embrace love.</span>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-12064200311404469532013-09-10T16:48:00.001-04:002013-09-10T16:49:57.079-04:00To the Empire!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5iC6OJqCk9voUhTtFhDAM4tBGcfNV8AWpTWHI9iBWb-2wMs9EmQ5Z3Zp06ydHWwefaGX3yLAetkg9qXdQKs26XAK0i_Qr6EBotdd4Mo7EkCrJRh5j-xo6_svk4r3izVto7vqB/s1600/girls.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5iC6OJqCk9voUhTtFhDAM4tBGcfNV8AWpTWHI9iBWb-2wMs9EmQ5Z3Zp06ydHWwefaGX3yLAetkg9qXdQKs26XAK0i_Qr6EBotdd4Mo7EkCrJRh5j-xo6_svk4r3izVto7vqB/s640/girls.jpeg" width="586" /></a></div>
<br />Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-80806929729919594572013-09-04T12:58:00.004-04:002013-09-04T12:58:52.947-04:00lala Moses lalala<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiobvW88USY_3Et3-r6cB1m56dgn6e_Ye7Hknb2v8GYN87KDvazuADXuE-5c7lyhgl4PWk8BuSkpAK3nH-zBRK4TJiXdF3ssoR_LZ49i-MIIQ3D9b0ls2Zi8l63bTClorEH0Pim/s1600/sept4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiobvW88USY_3Et3-r6cB1m56dgn6e_Ye7Hknb2v8GYN87KDvazuADXuE-5c7lyhgl4PWk8BuSkpAK3nH-zBRK4TJiXdF3ssoR_LZ49i-MIIQ3D9b0ls2Zi8l63bTClorEH0Pim/s640/sept4.jpeg" width="524" /></a></div>
<br />Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-20001828797268239692013-09-02T01:06:00.003-04:002013-09-02T01:06:58.036-04:00Olympia!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnH1MxjBtIE4YcoInZhwr5h6-efjG9wjHAvL4RtiiVzkxAKq8zKbe05cOT2AMw5goPQchCjct_nwROpKR3Fx1xiNwjYtAN-cblKVwHHNnaZE-fJv7WEyjpS2cRYiZm_jlSb6dF/s1600/olympia.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnH1MxjBtIE4YcoInZhwr5h6-efjG9wjHAvL4RtiiVzkxAKq8zKbe05cOT2AMw5goPQchCjct_nwROpKR3Fx1xiNwjYtAN-cblKVwHHNnaZE-fJv7WEyjpS2cRYiZm_jlSb6dF/s640/olympia.jpeg" width="386" /></a></div>
<br />Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-57543742398329671232013-08-23T22:23:00.001-04:002013-08-23T22:23:35.870-04:00Smith-Corona Sterling - 10 pica<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6OKitIw8L8B1fHLBCDJnBhOLHuiEUM1CedJZ8VJM8_NB9qgqE1wC5i2ZJBIV7xHCKRZoMbSMUSV4e9PZai4mLYWugdn0HPUgbI5nzLr9afKquQDBnu8VAHGFIJHALh0CwQQGf/s1600/typecast-82413-color2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6OKitIw8L8B1fHLBCDJnBhOLHuiEUM1CedJZ8VJM8_NB9qgqE1wC5i2ZJBIV7xHCKRZoMbSMUSV4e9PZai4mLYWugdn0HPUgbI5nzLr9afKquQDBnu8VAHGFIJHALh0CwQQGf/s640/typecast-82413-color2.jpeg" width="333" /></a></div><br />
Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-57679733511220218162013-08-23T02:43:00.001-04:002013-08-23T02:50:02.606-04:00I've been typecast!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcQJAZoYF7HKaUZW8vZViU0pRCY0QAvSbQG_uMlJSM-BgmETm1UiCexhVC7VPQi5QUV14P52D5n68z0t2Zk9yyVcbmGwnRBT9XGDOcfrDtolDr5GvMYBuMguPyJ8dEsgNH22-c/s1600/typecast-82313.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcQJAZoYF7HKaUZW8vZViU0pRCY0QAvSbQG_uMlJSM-BgmETm1UiCexhVC7VPQi5QUV14P52D5n68z0t2Zk9yyVcbmGwnRBT9XGDOcfrDtolDr5GvMYBuMguPyJ8dEsgNH22-c/s640/typecast-82313.jpeg" width="620" /></a></div>
<br />Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0Washington, DC 20037, USA38.9042365 -77.05212890000001438.8548015 -77.132809900000012 38.953671500000006 -76.971447900000015tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-91220110651965456562010-08-01T16:34:00.002-04:002010-08-01T16:48:03.634-04:00Lookie here, it seems I have a blogIf the date stamp on the recent post is correct, I haven't updated this blog in over a year and a half.<br /><br />Of course it is correct. I have been busy, I have had a lot of stuff going on, and I have found other outlets for my creativity.<br /><br />That is not to say I have not contributed any textually exciting posts. I believe I have posted a few notes on Facebook. Perhaps even <a href="http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/note.php?note_id=392957783856">a vignette</a> or two. But nothing regular.<br /><br />I hope to change that. I have recently set up my studio microphone to accept voice-recognition input from MacSpeech Dictate -- just now, in fact -- and perhaps that will let me overcome my innate laziness. (Of course, I am insanely jealous of my Windows counterparts, who have access to Dragon NaturallySpeaking 11, which boasts a 99.99% accuracy rate without any training whatsoever, but hey, Mac users have always been second-class citizens now, haven't they?)<br /><br />I have a lot of important things on my mind -- personal things, like when I'm going to get a new job, what topic enthralls me enough to warrant choosing it for the next episode of <a href="http://www.lexappeal.org">Lex Appeal</a> (<a href="http://lexappeal.org/post/881694257/episode-2-breastfeeding-and-the-right-to-go">the breast-feeding show</a> was interesting as far as it goes, but honestly I'm so sick of that topic right now, I never want to see another breast for as long as I live)... and I also want to hone my creative writing skills, as currently my sister Katherine is <a href="http://therandomthought-ks.blogspot.com/">winning the battle</a> there.<br /><br />Anyway, I hope you like the nifty redesign -- I have always wanted to use some sort of moon and cloudy sky header, and today I happened to find the very image I was looking for on someone else's website, and a quick Photoshop later, it was mine! (Insert evil laughter here.)<br /><br />Okay, that's enough for now. Time to go fill out a dozen job applications.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-46220208793940998372009-01-16T01:56:00.004-05:002009-01-16T02:06:18.634-05:00The Wind Shield is what makes it really bad<pre><br />Katherine: you ran tonight?<br />Matt: YES<br />Katherine: it's -7 right now here WITHOUT windshield<br />Matt: awwwwwwww<br /> windshield!<br /> that's adorable!<br /> hahahahaa<br />Katherine: what<br />Matt: hahahahahaha<br /> do you call it windshield<br />Katherine: yes<br />Matt: hahahahahaa<br /> awww<br />Katherine: oh no<br />Matt: that's so cute<br /> that's like when i used to call it pasghetti<br />Katherine: i'm looking at your status<br />Matt: hahahaaha<br />Katherine: it's wind chill???<br />Matt: YES!!!!!<br />Katherine: i thought it was wind shield!!!!!!<br />Katherine: all these years!<br />Matt: hahhahahaha<br /> oh no!<br />Katherine: i guess i've only ever said it<br />Matt: you have been hoodwinked<br />Katherine: never written it<br /> no one ever corrected me<br /> cuz i guess it always sounded like windchill<br />Matt: it would sound like a southern accent<br /> if you said it your way<br />Katherine: i do get awfully twangy<br />Matt: wow<br /> in your defense<br /> i used to also think it was windshield<br />Matt: until i was about 12 years old<br />Matt: but then i figured it out<br />Katherine: how come no one has ever said, it's not said that way!<br />Katherine: i must have gotten it from you then<br />Matt: OH DON'T BLAME ME for this<br />Katherine: how did i not know<br /> maybe i did know<br />Matt: that is tragic<br /> and awesomely hilarious<br />Katherine: i'm sure i've seen it written<br /> maybe i'm just creating it<br /> cuz i look at the weather channel all the time<br /> and they write wind chill<br /> but my mind sees it like windshield<br /> this confirms it: i only see what i want to see!<br /> and hear what i want to hear!<br />Matt: that's the definition of a crazy person!!<br />Katherine: then call me crazy<br /></pre>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09261194958149097177noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-13022259139249382102009-01-02T11:15:00.002-05:002009-01-05T17:30:29.207-05:00You'll See: THREE<object width="576" height="432" ><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/564953770965" /><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/564953770965" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="576" height="432"></embed></object><p>After two years of making movies for New Year's, Matt decides he is too mature to sing and frolic with Nate and Donnie. Devastated, the two attempt to make this year's movie without him... with HILARIOUS results. Will their attempts at movie making be successful? Will Matt ever sing or frolic again? You'll see... </p>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-67182090713518375722008-12-16T16:45:00.000-05:002008-12-16T16:46:09.637-05:00Today's Practical JokeI give a stack of letters to my secretary, with directions to have these copied and given to Gary so he could take them to the Copyright Office. "So you want these to go to the FCC?" she asks. "No," I repeat, "Copyright Office."<br /><br />An hour later Gary stops by my office, where a partner is giving me an unrelated assignment.<br /><br />Gary: The lady at the FCC said she didn't really know what these were about but she took them anyway.<br /><br />Matt: FCC? (look of shock and horror) ...COPYRIGHT OFFICE!<br /><br />Gary: Uh oh.<br /><br />...Gary breaks into laughter. The partner cracks up, and gives him a high five. <br /><br />Partner: Did you see his face turn all red!<br /><br />They walk out of the office, laughing.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-55596270686460831122008-12-14T15:06:00.001-05:002008-12-14T15:06:21.287-05:00Rudy Loves to Cuddle!<object width="576" height="324" ><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://www.facebook.com/v/562764478325" /><embed src="http://www.facebook.com/v/562764478325" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="576" height="324"></embed></object>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-48291650042256098952008-11-26T14:31:00.003-05:002008-11-26T14:37:50.554-05:00Rudy in high def!<embed src="http://blip.tv/play/AdzdSQA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="660" height="375" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-91184187071813309582008-11-06T16:18:00.003-05:002008-11-06T16:22:29.856-05:00A Special Kind of Warrior<span style="font-style: italic;">My housemate Christen calls me from CVS and asks if I need anything. I respond that I am almost out of deodorant.<br /><br /></span>Christen: What scent do you want?<br />Matt: I don't know... it's so hard to describe.<br />Christen: How about "Ocean"?<br />Matt: No! Not ocean. Rain, maybe. Something bluish.<br />Christen: Well what do you want to smell like?<br />Matt: I want to smell like a warrior.<br />Christen: A warrior, hmm.<br />Matt: The kind of warrior who would run through a field of flowers after a victorious battle.<br />Christen: So you want to smell like flowers.<br />Matt: NO! Not a warrior who smells like flowers; a warrior who <span style="font-style: italic;">would run through a field of flowers.</span> That's what I want to smell like.<br />Christen: (uncontrollable laughter)<br />Matt: Do you understand the distinction?<br />Christen: Yes, and that's why I'm laughing so much!Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-90183437483741221932008-11-04T02:03:00.001-05:002008-11-04T02:03:30.529-05:00Classic Dialogue from October 7, 2005(In the car.)<br /><br />Matt: "I'm not coming back here when I graduate."<br />Katherine: "That's okay. I'm moving away."<br />Elizabeth: "I'm leaving too."<br />Mom: "You can all go to hell!"Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-31369492246367598982008-10-31T11:36:00.002-04:002008-10-31T11:38:30.942-04:00A Good Throw<span style="font-style: italic;">In honor of Halloween, BeforeISleep.net today presents a spooky story I wrote back in 2003. Well, it's the beginning of a spooky story. I never actually got around to continuing it. But looking back on it, it reads pretty well. Shall I keep going?<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">*</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></div><br /> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: georgia;font-size:130%;" >They didn’t even bother to kill the baby</span> before throwing it overboard. The tides would do that, they figured. Babies can’t swim. He’ll just bob up and down a bit and then sink to the bottom. Why waste more resources on an experiment that had already failed?</span> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">So they didn’t. Tonight’s submersion was the third in a week, and very likely the first of hundreds. The task fell to Guido. He and the other shipmates had drawn straws, and his was the shortest, so he got to do the dirty work. And not just once or twice; <i>every</i> time. Whenever there were three arms and no legs, or two heads but not a single brain between them, Guido was the official Tossin’ Man. Funny thing, though – he didn’t mind it. The boys decided to draw straws because no one was really begging for the job. They weren’t <i>heartless</i>, after all. Nobody <i>liked</i> to see the babies thrown overboard, and no one really wanted to do it. But it had to be done – Capo explained there was no other way. The first time, Guido was shaking so badly he was barely able to grab onto the kid.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Ah, the first time. No one knew exactly what to expect. The actual toss wasn’t so bad; it took no more than a few seconds, just a short arc from the boat to the waves. No, the worst part was watching the kid, seeing him float there, his baby fat keeping him above water for a few minutes longer than you’d think. No one really wanted to watch, but each man was glued to his spot, hypnotized, watching the fat little head bob up and down until no one could see it anymore.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Everybody watched but two. Soon as he threw, Guido turned his back on the ocean and looked at the Capo. Capo looked back at him, jaw set, eyes wide and unblinking. The two were about ten feet apart, just looking at each other, while the baby screamed behind them. It was the worst sound you ever heard, the doomed baby’s screams. It wasn’t a regular cry. It was as though the baby knew it was going to die, and was begging for its life. Only it didn’t know any words, so all it could do was scream as loudly and painfully as it could, and hope someone would take pity on it and jump into the water after it.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">After a few minutes, the painful screaming became a kind of muffled gurgle. Then it stopped.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">When the baby really was gone, Guido turned away from the Capo and went down to his cabin. He wouldn’t come out for days; just asked for food to be left outside his door. Strict as Capo was, he didn’t even mind the absence much – even he realized how much Guido must hurt. But then, about a week later, Guido was back at his post as if no time had passed. When the boys asked him if he was all right, he just laughed.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">“What do you mean, Angelo, you think the waves are making me sick? I told you, I got used to the rocking weeks ago.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Alfonso looked around at those who had heard. “No, Guido,” he said. “The baby. The… last week.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Guido’s eyes grew wide, and he smiled so broadly that the rest of his face seemed to tighten up to make room. “A good throw, wasn’t it?”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Angelo didn’t know how to react. It was one thing to do the deed; quite another to laugh about it. It was a solemn task, a burden to shoulder in the name of progress. No one’s sense of humor should be that twisted.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Angelo half smiled, and nodded his head. Guido nodded back at him, and went back to his clipboards, transferring numbers from one board to the other. Angelo eyed him warily, and slowly turned back to his workstation, adjusting his monitors and firing up the gene program.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">It was a few minutes before Guido spoke again. “Did you hear him shriek when I spun him around?”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Angelo and the others looked up. “What are you talking about?”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">“It was a good shriek,” Guido said, reliving the moment in his head. “Kind of a laugh. Like we were playing.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">A burly man next to them spoke up. “You didn’t spin him, Guido,” he said in a calm voice. “The baby didn’t laugh. He didn’t know what hit him.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Guido stared at him. Slowly, the grin faded from his face, but the eyes stayed wide. “No,” he said. “No, I suppose I didn’t. I should have spun him.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Word spread about Guido’s strange sense of humor, and from that point on nobody brought up the subject around him. When time came to dispose of the next one, Guido was in high spirits. As he stood by the stern, cradling the baby in his arms to stop it from crying, the Capo began to speak.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">“Look at the moon,” he said. “Look at the stars!” There was silence as the crew stared at him. Waves crashed against the hull. “Our ancestors used to believe the stars were gods, and those gods could smile upon us, bringing us good fortune if they were pleased” – he looked at Guido – “and bad fortune if they were not. It all sounds so foolish from our modern perspective, doesn’t it? Stars as gods.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">He smiled, shaking his head. “And yet… maybe not so foolish, if you think about it. We have learned so much in just the past few years about how things work. Powers unimaginable have been granted to us, and why?”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">He paused, waiting for someone to answer him. No one did.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">“Because we were foolish enough to think the impossible!” He turned to Guido. “We were foolish enough to take part in this years-long endeavor, to enhance Nature herself! And, my friends, we are so close. So close.” There were nods of agreement as he said this.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">“So,” he continued, “I will ask you what I asked Guido: Now that we are so close to realizing this wonderful dream we share, do not turn away in disgust at some of the more… unfortunate aspects of the program. Some of you have voiced concern about our chosen method of disposal. I have explained to you that it is the most… <i>humane</i>… option available. But even my assurances have left some of you unconvinced.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">He looked down at his boots, which glistened in the moonlight. “I can offer you no more assurances, so I will offer you a possibility.” He looked up. “Our science tells us stars are nothing more than balls of burning hydrogen. But what if <i>our</i> science is only half right? We scientists are very good at explaining how things work… but <i> why</i> things work? That, my friends, is for the priests. Why do the stars shine? Perhaps the gods <i>are </i> behind it. And if the gods really can bring us good fortune, then think of this not as a disposal – but as an offering.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">He motioned to Guido, who walked toward the water and lifted the baby above his head. This one was an exceptionally odd result. All its limbs were intact, all internal systems present and functioning normally. Indeed, aside from a slight ridge on its frontal cranium, a casual bystander might notice nothing amiss. Yet the deformity quickly becomes clear to anyone who tries to interact with the child. From the beginning, the instruments measured absolutely no brain activity, even though physically, the organ was in perfect condition. All his organs were perfect. His brain was large, his heart strong. His blood circulated and his lungs functioned normally – indeed, every <i>system</i> worked.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Every system but the most important: its consciousness. Amazing, Capo once intoned, how the aspect that is the most important, the most <i>definitive</i> of being human, is not recognized in the textbooks. Circulatory system, respiratory system, reproductive system – and yet no <i>awareness</i> system. Without that, a human is just a collection of machinery. It might function, but the resulting product is less a human being than a flesh-and-bone robot.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">We may produce many like that, he told his crew. The technology to clone parts is not necessarily the technology to clone the <i>sum</i> of the parts. We <i>will</i> end up with parts. If we’re lucky, they will be arranged in a manner fitting a human being, and in appropriate numbers. Anything grander… will require a miracle.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">As yet, no miracles had been granted. There was such hope over this one – he was as beautiful a clone as Capo could have imagined. He looked just like the picture Capo had placed on every display’s desktop. Sans beard and moustache, he was the spitting image of Capo himself – about 50 years younger, of course.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">But his mind was empty. There were no cries when they cut it from its mother’s womb. It was, for all intents and purposes like a brain-dead child. A brain-dead child who should not have been. Perhaps this one will help show the men how humane our disposal process really is, Capo thought.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Guido stood, looking out over the waters. It was a calm night, but a storm was on its way. In the distance the sky was gray with impending doom, angry clouds rolling toward them, slow and confident. He turned the baby so it faced him, its large blue eyes open, yet strangely distant. Guido looked out at the two dozen men circling him, and smiled. He looked back up at the baby, still held firmly above his head, and smiled even wider. With a great heave and a loud yell, he hurled the creature into the sea. It splashed as it entered the peaceful waters, and disappeared under the water. Within seconds, it had bobbed back up, its face holding steady just above the surface.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Guido leaned over the stern, looking down at the baby, disbelieving. “Start crying!” he yelled.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">“He won’t,” Capo said quietly. “He doesn’t react, you know that.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">“Not to stimulus in the lab, but this is different! The sea is stronger.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">“And the baby’s mind is just as detached as it has been for days. He feels nothing.” He turned to the crew, his voice louder now. “You see? He feels nothing! He will be swept away to a peaceful end. Those who <i> can</i> feel can tell no difference between this” – he motioned to the water – “and their mother’s womb! The submersion is quick and completely painless. A simple sleep that ends their troubles and ours.”</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Guido had a look of disgust. “Damn shame,” he said. He turned from the sea and stormed down the steps.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">Capo and the other men stood in place, watching him go, listening to his footsteps. When, in the distance below them, they heard a cabin door slamming, they turned back to the sea. The baby was farther out now, about thirty feet away, still silent. He was being carried away at a meandering clip by the light current, and he seemed neither to notice nor to care. The night was cool and beautiful, bright stars dotting the sky, undimmed by human dealings. The light breeze was becoming stronger, and the baby was quickly carried twice as far out. Far to the east, the crew saw flashes of lightning, and many seconds later heard nearly silent rumblings. Capo turned from the sea and walked to the stairs, descending below. One by one, the crew turned and followed.</span></p> <p> <span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">The silent baby was a hundred feet out now, barely visible. And still, it bobbed up and down in the water, as the waves grew taller and the ship began to rock.</span></p> <div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;font-size:100%;">* * *</span><br /></div>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-46876195928724559392008-10-23T02:47:00.001-04:002008-10-23T02:47:45.829-04:00My Superhero Name is "The Green Triangle"<div class="utterz-entry utterli-entry"><div class="utterz-audio utterli-audio"><object width="320" height="35"><param name="movie" value="http://www.utterli.com/fp/slimline.swf?1222724994" /><param name="flashvars" value="utt_id=ODAyMjcwNQ&autoplay=0" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><embed src="http://www.utterli.com/fp/slimline.swf?1222724994" flashvars="utt_id=ODAyMjcwNQ&autoplay=0" width="320" height="35" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" /></object><br /></div><div class="utterz-text utterli-text">You may ask, is it hard for me to lose all this weight? The answer is, no. Once you find a rhythm that you can live with, it's no big deal at all.<br /></div><br /><a target="_new" href="http://www.utterli.com/u/utt/u-ODAyMjcwNQ">Mobile post</a> sent by <a target="_new" href="http://www.utterli.com/DCTenor1">DCTenor1</a> using <a target="_new" href="http://www.utterli.com">Utterli</a>. <a target="_new" href="http://www.utterli.com/u/utt/u-ODAyMjcwNQ"><img border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; border: none; padding: 0px;" src="http://www.utterli.com/u/reply_count/u-ODAyMjcwNQ" alt="reply-count" /></a> <a target="_new" href="http://www.utterli.com/u/utt/u-ODAyMjcwNQ">Replies</a>.  <a href="http://www.utterli.com/utts/08/0896d370d7e5c07fe71063e0039f5088.mp3">mp3</a></div>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-70316868736389380892008-10-22T11:18:00.001-04:002008-10-22T11:18:42.411-04:00Now that's a good compromise<span style="font-weight: bold;">Matt:</span> I figure if the federal gov't is going to take a stronger role than in the past, they might as well do it right. I know money won't fix everything, but by god, I'd rather spend $15B on helping our nation's schools than on building another bomber.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ryan:</span> No no, I want the bomber. It's cooler.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Matt:</span> How about we compromise?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ryan:</span> Ok, we can hold classes in my bomber.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-61040273692202384962008-09-07T23:31:00.002-04:002008-09-07T23:32:07.511-04:00An Interspieces Battle for Domination!<div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'><p><object height='350' width='425'><param value='http://youtube.com/v/UCs56tFy4mA' name='movie'/><embed height='350' width='425' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' src='http://youtube.com/v/UCs56tFy4mA'/></object></p><p>See what happens when Matt figures out how to get the dogs to play tug of war against each other...</p></div>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-77380723583607730332008-09-04T21:29:00.002-04:002008-09-04T21:42:47.118-04:00O'Reilly's Interview with Obama: The Democrats are in TroubleSay what you want about O'Reilly; he's a pitbull of an interviewer. Today he pressed Obama on the Surge and Iran. The results were not good for Obama supporters.<br /><br />Obama acknowledged the success of the surge but claimed it exceeded the wildest expectations of even Bush and McCain. (I don't see how that's a bad thing.) He would not, however, admit that he was wrong in voting against it. In the process he missed a great opportunity for powerful rhetoric.<br /><br /><blockquote>O'Reilly: "If we had listened to you, we wouldn't have had a surge and we wouldn't be winning the war!"<br />Obama (fire in his eyes): "If you had listened to me, we wouldn't NEED a surge because we wouldn't have STARTED this war in the first place!"</blockquote><br />Now that's the Obama I love. Unfortunately, that Obama doesn't exist. Obama did not say that; there was no fire. He smiled and hemmed and hawed and said, "Well, we still are paying $12 billion a month on Iraq and..."<br /><br />This remains an unpopular war among most of the American public and Obama needs to turn up the rhetoric. He would do well to remind us that we wouldn't be in this mess if he had been in the White House. (We might be in other messes, but not <i>this</i> one.) From what I've seen, it appears that as great as he is in a prepared speech, he isn't very good at extemporaneous speaking. Biden is amazing at it and that will help offset Obama's stilted responses, but Biden's not the guy who would be the commander in chief.<br /><br />O'Reilly next moved on to Iran, and asked specifically what Obama plans to do. What happens if diplomacy doesn't work? Does he think military action is likely? Obama was quite evasive. He responded that, as a candidate for president, it's "not appropriate" for him to "tip his hand" regarding the direction he's going to go in Iran. Excuse me? You're not going to tip your hand? This isn't a Supreme Court nomination hearing, Obama, you are <i>supposed</i> to tell us what you're going to do. Eventually he gave his same old "all options are on the table" answer, but with no specifics.<br /><br />Upon the conclusion of the interview, my first reaction was that Obama is going to lose. In any moderated debate with McCain, McCain will use forceful rhetoric about the need to use military force and confront our enemies. McCain will have fire in his eyes. Obama is, as usual, going to be very introspective, Kerry-like in his desire for nuance. It's not going to play well among the undecideds who agree the world is a very dangerous place.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-53266712041889070322008-09-03T23:58:00.002-04:002008-09-04T00:03:53.518-04:00Live Responses to the Palin Acceptance Speech<ul><li>Ok, I'm going to be live-tweeting the Palin speech and compiling it into a blog post later. First impressions: My oh my that is a VPILF.</li><li>So that's what an Alaskan accent sounds like. Sounds vaguely like southern Ohio. Now she's playing the mom-of-soldier card.</li><li>Now she's playing the ADORABLE daughter card. I still think Bristol Willow Piper sounds like a consulting firm.</li><li>Her husband is an Eskimo fisherman snowmobile racer. Now there's a selling point.</li><li>Ha! LIPSTICK! Hahahahahah! :-\</li><li>Everyone's dissing Obama's "community organizing." I'm really curious how Palin is going to spin her mayoral "responsibilities."</li><li>She's been talking for 10 minutes and hasn't said a word about her accomplishments -- just introduced family and bashed Obama.</li><li>You do NOT want to talk about "leaving this nation better than we found it." 8 years of Dubya have not left this nation better than before.</li><li>I'd like to show Palin my oil pipeline.</li><li>Sorry, was overcome by VPlust. She knows about oil and I tend to agree that we should use the power we got until we get the power we want.</li><li>Man oh man does Palin give good rhetoric.</li><li>Palin, if John McCain were truly a maverick, you wouldn't be standing there.</li><li>Listen, McCain is a patriot and yes he was a prisoner of war. I respect him. But that is not a major qualification to be president. Sorry.</li><li>Good speech. MUCH better speaker than McCain. She seems pleasant enough. The American Everywoman. Not much substance though; lotta sarcasm.</li><li>Bottom line: i like her a lot. She seems like a great person. She is not qualified to be my president.</li><li>I'm looking forward to the debates. Obama will wipe the floor with McCain. The real exciting one will be Biden vs. Palin. Game on!</li></ul>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-27858506626492926312008-09-02T11:44:00.002-04:002008-09-02T11:45:44.592-04:00Palin is the most unqualified vice presidential pick in the history of modern electionsOkay. Even if I were still considering McCain, his choice of the most unqualified, unvetted runningmate in the history of modern presidential politics would completely turn me off.<br /><br />McCain meets her <i>twice:</i> at a governor's conference, and on the day he offers her the job. No one in Alaska had received <i>any </i>calls inquiring into Palin's background. The "vetting" process was almost certainly a quick Google job. I am not confident about a presidential candidate who doesn't do any real research before picking the second-in-command.<br /><br />And McCain, who has a history of skin cancer and other ailments, had a father who died at 70 -- two years younger than McCain is now. There is a significant chance he could die in office, or become incapacitated. And then what? Palin named her kids Trig, Track, Willow, Bristol and Piper. I don't trust that woman's judgment at all. And she raised a daughter whose values apparently did not preclude having unprotected sex and getting pregnant in high school. Way to go, mom! So much for conservative values (other than her pastime of hunting caribou and encouraging the teaching of Creationism alongside Evolution in SCIENCE CLASS).<br /><br />What does this pick say about McCain's judgment?<br />And do we really think Palin is qualified to stare down Putin?<br /><br />Word has it McCain really wanted Lieberman but decided against him because he didn't poll well. Yeah, real maverick.<br /><br />Sorry, I'm just pretty annoyed at the direction the Republicans are going. Can someone please tell me why Palin is a good pick? I smell another Harriet MiersMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-3531591872074514262008-08-26T12:19:00.002-04:002008-08-26T12:21:37.497-04:00Racism is NOT the only reason Obama might loseSometimes I think Slate.com writers intentionally offer the most illogical, unsupported arguments, solely to increase their number of page views. Take this article from one Jacob Weisberg, arguing that <a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2198397/">racism is the <span style="font-style: italic;">only conceivable reason</span></a> why Obama might lose the presidency.<br /><p>Weisberg begins with the premise that Obama is the perfect choice that every non-racist would vote for. With such a ridiculous premise, <span style="font-style: italic;">of course </span>the only logical answer that follows for his neck-and-neck standing in the polls is RACISM!<br /></p><p>But the fact is, just because the country is sick of Bush policies doesn't mean they believe McCain will simply continue them. Despite the left wingers' cries of "Bush McCain," much evidence exists to suggest McCain is in fact his own man. People may prefer McCain's experience to Obama's lack thereof. People may still generally prefer conservative, small government principles, to liberal, big government principles.</p><p>In short, there are many reasons why McCain and Obama are neck and neck. Simply put, they both offer good policies that appeal to conservatives and liberals, respectively. The country is roughly equally divided between conservatives and liberals. So we get tied poll numbers.</p>I am not arguing that racism doesn't exist. There is clearly a small percentage that would never vote for Obama because of his skin color. But that is absolutely not the main reason for the current poll numbers.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-29983133094630752272008-08-18T00:43:00.001-04:002008-08-18T00:43:30.441-04:00Sitting outside with Rudy!<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/loXmk_-Bul0&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/loXmk_-Bul0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28822395.post-59416986703661069642008-08-15T20:01:00.002-04:002008-08-15T20:10:56.512-04:00Perpetual Motion Machine!<div style="padding: 3px; text-align: left;"><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.flickr.com/apps/video/stewart.swf?v=58374" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" height="375" width="500"> <param name="flashvars" value="intl_lang=en-us&photo_secret=b7cb59343b&photo_id=2765983765&show_info_box=true"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.flickr.com/apps/video/stewart.swf?v=58374"> <param name="bgcolor" value="#000000"> <param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.flickr.com/apps/video/stewart.swf?v=58374" bgcolor="#000000" allowfullscreen="true" flashvars="intl_lang=en-us&photo_secret=b7cb59343b&photo_id=2765983765&flickr_show_info_box=true" height="375" width="500"></embed></object><br /><span style="margin-top: 0px;font-size:0;" ><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/liquidschwartz/2765983765/">Retarded Segway</a>, originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/liquidschwartz/">CaseWriter21</a>.</span></div><p class="flickr-yourcomment">Certain early Segway models had the ability to virtually "park" themselves, remaining upright even when no one was on them. The Segway i2, however, likes to keep going forward. The frequent result? A slightly demented Segway. Enjoy.<br /><br />(PS - The Anthony referred to at the end of the video is actually a genius with an IQ likely higher than everyone viewing the video. We just like to make fun.) :-)</p>Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15735718470496028866noreply@blogger.com0