The Surprise

The Big Surprise of the week: I am shorn. That's right. As you can see from the picture to your right (and the several scary LittleMatts hovering above), I have not only shaved several months worth of hair off my face, but also several years off my appearance. Instead of the manly early-30s look I was pulling off, I am again a victim of my patented BabyFace(TM), appearing to be 20 or 21 at best. My goal is to be carded when I go to my next R movie.

It's interesting how few people noticed the change. My roommate notice instantly, of course, but at work things were different. Only three people noticed that the beard was gone; several more (including the head of the legal department) had the sneaking suspicion that "something" was "different," but they couldn't quite place it. Once I told them, of course, they hung their heads in shame and disbelief that they could miss such a huge change.

The general consensus is that it was a good move, though I looked fine with the beard. Part of me now feels like, "It's good to be back!", but I know I'll feel much better once I drop some pounds.

Does having a beard make one look thinner?

• The results are in... and the answer is a resounding YES!
  
  These two pictures were taken within days of each other. I did not gain any weight. The results are conclusive: I look about 20 pounds heavier without the beard. I looked svelte! And now I just look pudgy.
  
  Of course I will try to get back in shape. But it will take me months to get back to unbearded svelteness, while it will only take me 4-5 weeks to get the beard back. As I haven't shaved in over a week, I am 25% there. By the time I get back to Washington, my beard will be back to the precise length I like.
  
  This concludes our test of the Emergency Beard System. We will now return you to normally scheduled programming.