Lookie here, it seems I have a blog

If the date stamp on the recent post is correct, I haven't updated this blog in over a year and a half.

Of course it is correct. I have been busy, I have had a lot of stuff going on, and I have found other outlets for my creativity.

That is not to say I have not contributed any textually exciting posts. I believe I have posted a few notes on Facebook. Perhaps even a vignette or two. But nothing regular.

I hope to change that. I have recently set up my studio microphone to accept voice-recognition input from MacSpeech Dictate -- just now, in fact -- and perhaps that will let me overcome my innate laziness. (Of course, I am insanely jealous of my Windows counterparts, who have access to Dragon NaturallySpeaking 11, which boasts a 99.99% accuracy rate without any training whatsoever, but hey, Mac users have always been second-class citizens now, haven't they?)

I have a lot of important things on my mind -- personal things, like when I'm going to get a new job, what topic enthralls me enough to warrant choosing it for the next episode of Lex Appeal (the breast-feeding show was interesting as far as it goes, but honestly I'm so sick of that topic right now, I never want to see another breast for as long as I live)... and I also want to hone my creative writing skills, as currently my sister Katherine is winning the battle there.

Anyway, I hope you like the nifty redesign -- I have always wanted to use some sort of moon and cloudy sky header, and today I happened to find the very image I was looking for on someone else's website, and a quick Photoshop later, it was mine! (Insert evil laughter here.)

Okay, that's enough for now. Time to go fill out a dozen job applications.

The Wind Shield is what makes it really bad

Katherine:  you ran tonight?
Matt:   YES
Katherine: it's -7 right now here WITHOUT windshield
Matt:   awwwwwwww
  windshield!
  that's adorable!
  hahahahaa
Katherine:  what
Matt:   hahahahahaha
  do you call it windshield
Katherine:  yes
Matt:  hahahahahaa
  awww
Katherine:  oh no
Matt:  that's so cute
  that's like when i used to call it pasghetti
Katherine: i'm looking at your status
Matt:  hahahaaha
Katherine: it's wind chill???
Matt:  YES!!!!!
Katherine: i thought it was wind shield!!!!!!
Katherine: all these years!
Matt:  hahhahahaha
  oh no!
Katherine: i guess i've only ever said it
Matt:  you have been hoodwinked
Katherine: never written it
  no one ever corrected me
  cuz i guess it always sounded like windchill
Matt:  it would sound like a southern accent
  if you said it your way
Katherine: i do get awfully twangy
Matt:  wow
  in your defense
  i used to also think it was windshield
Matt:  until i was about 12 years old
Matt:  but then i figured it out
Katherine: how come no one has ever said, it's not said that way!
Katherine: i must have gotten it from you then
Matt:  OH DON'T BLAME ME for this
Katherine: how did i not know
  maybe i did know
Matt:  that is tragic
  and awesomely hilarious
Katherine: i'm sure i've seen it written
  maybe i'm just creating it
  cuz i look at the weather channel all the time
  and they write wind chill
  but my mind sees it like windshield
  this confirms it: i only see what i want to see!
  and hear what i want to hear!
Matt:  that's the definition of a crazy person!!
Katherine: then call me crazy

You'll See: THREE

After two years of making movies for New Year's, Matt decides he is too mature to sing and frolic with Nate and Donnie. Devastated, the two attempt to make this year's movie without him... with HILARIOUS results. Will their attempts at movie making be successful? Will Matt ever sing or frolic again? You'll see...

Today's Practical Joke

I give a stack of letters to my secretary, with directions to have these copied and given to Gary so he could take them to the Copyright Office. "So you want these to go to the FCC?" she asks. "No," I repeat, "Copyright Office."

An hour later Gary stops by my office, where a partner is giving me an unrelated assignment.

Gary: The lady at the FCC said she didn't really know what these were about but she took them anyway.

Matt: FCC? (look of shock and horror) ...COPYRIGHT OFFICE!

Gary: Uh oh.

...Gary breaks into laughter. The partner cracks up, and gives him a high five.

Partner: Did you see his face turn all red!

They walk out of the office, laughing.

Rudy Loves to Cuddle!