Friday, July 28, 2006

Does having a beard make one look thinner?

  • The results are in... and the answer is a resounding YES!

    These two pictures were taken within days of each other. I did not gain any weight. The results are conclusive: I look about 20 pounds heavier without the beard. I looked svelte! And now I just look pudgy.

    Of course I will try to get back in shape. But it will take me months to get back to unbearded svelteness, while it will only take me 4-5 weeks to get the beard back. As I haven't shaved in over a week, I am 25% there. By the time I get back to Washington, my beard will be back to the precise length I like.

    This concludes our test of the Emergency Beard System. We will now return you to normally scheduled programming.


Di said...

The only opinion I have is that when you're clean-shaven you look more like... you! I prefer shaven.

Matt said...

I'm so glad you're lurking again, Di. I don't know where you disappeared to, but I have missed you.

You know, almost everyone who has known me since high school prefers clean-shaven. Most people who have only known me recently prefer the beard.

The beard has its advantages: I'm MUCH warmer in the winter, it slims me, and it makes me look older. Can you see me as an assistant DA, arguing before a jury, with my unshaven baby face? Bearded Matt is so much more striking and forceful. :-)

Di said...

I disappeared into a state of confusion when Liquid Schwartz mysteriously disappeared... but I am here again.

Still confused as to why you're in London, but I suppose it's for pleasure since you appear to be spending most of your time in Starbucks as opposed to in an office? Where can I sign up? ;)

Cuatro said...

Even more reason for me to keep my beard intact! Thanks for the timely discouragement. :)